


SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

by iamkathastrophe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x23 Coda, 13x23 spoilers, A LOT of Angst, Angst, Feelings, M/M, brotherly talk, finale coda, it's just angst, memories from heaven, memories from the cage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14704896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamkathastrophe/pseuds/iamkathastrophe
Summary: After losing the fight, Lucifer finds himself in the Empty; however, he isn't there alone.A 13x23 coda.





	SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL

**Author's Note:**

> This was my way of coping with the absolute disaster 13x23 was, and now I'm going back to denial; Supernatural ended at 13x21 as far as I'm concerned.   
> ~you can follow me on Tumblr at https://iamkathastrophe.tumblr.com~

He’s in the Empty.

 

He knows it as soon as he opens his eyes and sees, well, nothing. Only endless darkness so deep and thick he feels like it’s sticking onto his body, grabbing him with its hands, trying to keep him immobile and put him back to sleep. That’s what he should do, shouldn’t he? He remembers that Winchester sinking the blade into his ribcage, the disrupted grace burning him from the inside, filling him up with the bright lights of a dying archangel.

 

Lucifer is dead, and dead angels should forever sleep in the Empty. That’s what this place was created for, since nothing ever ceases to exist. Eternal sleep isn’t bad of an end, your consciousness simply… stops to work. There’s no more worry, no more failure, no more pain, just the slumber. Sweet, and pleasant, and so, so peaceful. If only Lucifer could close his eyes back again and let the silence of this place sing him back to sleep…

 

No.

 

His eyes fly open again as he forces himself to sits up despite the sudden dizziness. His chest feels tight and his limbs are way too heavy, but that doesn’t stop him from dragging himself up to his feet again, gaze wandering around cautiously. 

 

Nothing.

 

There is absolutely, completely and utterly nothing. Lucifer knew of this place, as of every other creation his Father has ever come up with, but at the same time, this is one of the said creations he has never seen with his own eyes. Now, standing there in the middle of literal  _ nothing _ , he can very well see why Father would want to keep this a secret from his angelic children, why he wouldn’t want them to ever find out what kind of afterlife he prepared for them.

 

This is worse than hell.

 

And, if anything, Lucifer is definitely a person qualified to judge on that; after all, thanks to Daddy dearest, he spent aeons upon aeons locked in the cage, having nothing but cold flames surrounding his prison as a company. Being stuck in a darkness, without ground under your feet or the smallest source of light is definitely worse. Good old Dad, always doing what’s the best for his children if they’re ever dumb enough to decide to question his poor choices. Fantastic.

 

With an irritated groan, Lucifer rests his hands on his hips. What is he supposed to do now? His knowledge about, frankly, pretty much everything sadly doesn’t include a handy guide on running away from boxes made for dead angels. He has to run from here. He’s fucked up. He’s completely fucked up the one chance he’s had. 

 

Did he really?

 

No, there was never a chance for him. Not after finally getting out of the cage, not when he was trying to prevent his fight with Michael, not even when poor little Sammy Winchester owed him his life. Not when he was trying to get to his son. Even then, even when his intentions were clear, hell, even when he was just wanted to be left alone. Guess that’s what just happens when you’re the Big Bad Evil, when you’re the Devil, when you’re the worst, when…

 

Lucifer scoffs at his own pathetic train of thoughts. Now isn’t the best time to engage in this self-loathing, not that it ever is. During his existence, all the countless years of it, Lucifer had more than enough time to get used to the thought that every single being in the existence hated him to bits, apparently also including his beloved little brother. He’s not bothered by it, not at all. The only thing he really cares about is getting out of the Empty, finding Jack and fixing what he’s messed up. 

 

He won’t be like his father.

 

In all of those thoughts, Lucifer didn’t even notice when his legs carried him through the nothingness. He doesn’t know what he could expect in this place since its existence is a mystery even to an archangel like him. He just hopes that there really is a way out of this place, at least one without his dear old Dad’s help. That cockroach Castiel has been brought more times than Lucifer cares to count, and if such a low angel can escape, so can Lucifer. He has to.

 

On and on, step by step, onward and onward, and not a single thing changes. There’s still… nothing. Nobody. Perhaps Lucifer should go back to sleep. The ground isn’t hard, he could just lie down and close his eyes, fall back asleep and never wake up again, as humans like to say. There’s nobody waiting for him on “the other side”, nobody missing him, nothing to aspire for. Jack hates him now, so what would be even the point of getting out, if his own son wouldn’t even look at…?

 

“Gabriel?”

 

There’s no response, no movement or the slightest twitch of muscle that would indicate that the person sitting on the non-existing ground heard Lucifer’s words in any way. It is Gabriel, though, sitting with his legs crossed, empty golden eyes blindly looking off into the distance. 

 

“Gabriel,” Lucifer repeats, stopping in front of his younger brother, arms crossed on his chest. “Come on, don’t give me the silent treatment now.”

 

Gabriel’s gaze wanders up. “Fuck off.”

 

Great.

 

Lucifer nods slowly, sucking in a breath. “Can we do this whole “I hate you” thing later?”

 

“Later?” Gabriel snorts a dry chuckle. “We’re dead, Lucifer, we’ve got all the time in the world. Especially here, since there’s no such thing as time. There’s just…”

 

“Nothing. Yes, I’ve noticed, but thanks for the memo.” It only takes Lucifer a second before he sits down in front of his brother, legs crossed as well. “Come on, you can give me another lecture on how much you hate you later. Now, we’re awake, so we have a chance…”

 

“I don’t hate you.”

 

Lucifer’s eyebrows elevate. “Excuse me, what did you just say to me?” 

 

Gabriel breathes slowly through his nose, this gaze wandering off into the darkness of the Empty again. “I don’t  _ hate  _ you,” he says again. “But it doesn’t mean that I like you.”

 

“Oh, right, of course. The part of your monologue, you know, the one where you said that it’s good that Pops locked me away?” Lucifer tries really hard not to let the hurt seep into his voice, but he can’t even tell whether it’s working or not. He feels like the gaping wound in his chest only grows. “Really felt that good ol’ brotherly love then.”

 

The younger of the archangels scoffs. “I could tell you the same about the part where you stabbed me.”

 

“You made me.”

 

“Nobody makes us do anything, Lucifer,” Gabriel says sternly, pointing his finger at his older brother. “You made a choice. You made a lot of choices, actually, and they were all leading you here. To the Empty. Where your place is. You can’t hurt anyone here.”

 

The edges of the wound light up with white fire at those words, quickly eating away more and more of him, stinging and burning and  _ hurting _ . Lucifer just breathes through Gabriel’s words, no matter how much pain he feels in that moment. He can barely process it, let alone describe it, the feeling when one of the very few people you care about talks about you with so much disgust and repulsion in their voice. 

 

No sympathy for the devil.

 

Lucifer turns the words around on his tongue and thinks twice before he finally lets them slip out: “You really do think that, don’t you?”

 

Gabriel gives him a surprised look. “Think what?”

 

“You really do think I’m evil?”

 

The younger of the archangels blinks rapidly and laughs. “Are you serious?” he asks with some sick amusement in his voice. “Are you really asking me this, Lucifer? After all, you’ve done, you…?

 

“What have I done, exactly, Gabriel?” Lucifer answers with another question, gritting his teeth hard enough so, were he human, they would shatter into pieces. “Tell me.”

 

“Oh, you mean besides trying to bring on the apocalypse?” 

 

Lucifer scoffs. “Are you surprised?” 

 

“What?”

 

“Are. You. Surprised?” Lucifer hisses out and he feels the remains of his grace lit up behind his eyes. “I was His best creation!” He exclaims bitterly. “I was the best thing Dad has ever made and he knew I was! He knew how much I loved him, how much I loved you and how much I loved Heaven! And then he wanted me to bow and serve and put myself under a pile of maggots barely better than dust! He wanted me to  _ bow _ to those broken abortions!”

 

Gabriel shakes his head. “You’re not making yourself look much better. I know they’re flawed, we all know they’re flawed! Why can’t you understand that they can be broken and beautiful at the same time?!”

 

“He cast me out!” Lucifer’s voice begins to slightly shiver at the edges, the hole in his chest decaying further. “He let those monkeys break his rules, he let them kill and rape and steal and lie, yet he ripped my feathers out and locked me down in the cage because I said no to him!” His skin is burning up. “He sentenced me to suffer in the cage, and then gave me the Mark, knowing very well it would corrupt me! And the Apocalypse?” Lucifer runs a hand through his hair. “Oh, little brother, you seem to forget that the Apocalypse was  _ exactly _ what Pops wanted to happen. He  _ wanted  _ me to fight with Michael, even though I didn’t want to!”

 

“Don’t act like he pressured you into this!” Gabriel hisses. “You  _ chose _ …!”

 

“Oh, what would you know! You ran away!” 

 

In this moment, Gabriel looks like Lucifer just smacked him across the face, eyes going wide with so much offence with them Lucifer would probably regret saying that, if it wasn’t for the agonizing pain in his chest. “Why am I even talking to you?” the younger archangel scoffs. “Why am I bothering? Even if you’re trying to convince me, you can’t change, Lucifer.”

 

Lucifer looks away from his brother for the first time, suddenly unable to keep up with the pressure and the stress crawling on his skin. “I tried,” he admits. “I really tried. I wanted to be a good father for Jack, better than ours has ever been. It’s kinda hard to do your best when everyone vilifies everything you do. I’m not a villain, Gabriel, but it’s impossible to try to do better when everything thinks you’re the big bad evil.”

 

“Maybe.” Gabriel’s voice is bland again. “But you are a murderer.”

 

“So are you!” There’s a note ringing in Lucifer’s voice, one that’s dangerously close to desperation. “So is Castiel, so is Michael, so are your saints Winchesters!  _ Even _ your precious Sammy!”

 

“Don’t.” There’s a warning in Gabriel’s tone.

 

“Please.” Lucifer rolls his eyes. “You think I couldn’t see the way you look at that monkey? You’re head over heels for him.” 

 

Gabriel’s jaw cracks. “Don’t you dare…” Gabriel stands up from the invisible ground. “Don’t you even dare talk about this!”

 

Lucifer gets up as well, his vessel standing good half a foot higher than Gabriel’s. “What’s the matter, Gabe? Could it be that I said something that could possibly  _ hurt you _ ?” His heart is gone, and so are his lungs, his skin and flesh and bones. There’s just a completely empty hole in the middle of his chest. Is he even fixable at this point?

 

“You’re in no position to lecture me about this!” Gabriel growls at his brother. “You have no right to lecture me on love! You don’t even know what love is! You  _ can’t  _ love!” 

 

At this statement, Lucifer nearly flinches away, the black acid eating away his insides and scratching his throat. “Well,” he can almost feel stinging in his eyes. Almost. “Maybe it’s because I used to do it  _ too much _ .”

 

Moments of silence. 

 

“I know you’re hurt, alright?” Gabriel tells him, and his voice is surprisingly soft. “I know that Dad did you wrong, Luce.”

 

“Do you?” Lucifer takes a step forward. “Do you, Gabe? Do you have any idea what it’s like?” He smacks his lips. “Because I think you don’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to be me. To be hated and vilified and condemned for  _ existing _ !” His hands curl into fists. “They turned my son against me!” 

 

Gabriel gives him a strange look, full of mixed feelings: confusion and disbelief among others. “Don't tell me that you really cared about the kid.”

 

Lucifer raises his arms. “Of course I care about Jack! He's my son!” He takes a shaky breath. “He and I could be happy, together. I wanted to take him to Heaven, I wanted to be a father! I…!’ 

 

“Oh. My. Dear.”

 

Both of the archangels stiffen as they hear an eerily familiar voice,  _ Lucifer’s voice _ behind them. They turn their heads fast enough to hear the bones of their necks crack, their eyes growing wide as their gazes fall onto… Lucifer. Standing before them with hands in its pockets, and a dangerous spark in its blue eyes. 

 

“You are so loud.” The strange copy of Lucifer tilts its head to the side. “So many angels waking up lately. Just as if you don’t want to stay dead.” It licks over its lips and lets out a long breath. “Get out. I need sleep.”

 

Then there was light.


End file.
